Ladder theory

Another interesting theory, which seems to make sense in pieces, needs a second reading, more thought.

Some excerpts

"Men who become aware that they have been placed, against their own preference, on the "Never" ladder by a particular woman are cautioned, in LT, against trying to get themselves recategorized: this act is perceived as an unwelcome emotional aggression, and may provoke a response of hostility or withdrawal." Guys understand that.

Conversely, LT claims that men evaluate female acquaintances on a single ladder, conflating both sexual desirability and relationship value into an overall measure of priority (but usually with sexual attraction given primacy). Guys are always pretty simple.

"According to the assumptions of LT, differences between the "one-ladder" ranking system of men and the "two-ladder" ranking system of women often lead to mutual misunderstanding," See cause of that extra ladder we have all these problems, girls need to sort it out.

"the most egregious example of which is purported to be the so-called "nice guy" approach. In this model, a man attempts to increase his appeal to a woman by demonstrating the qualities she has indicated that she values in another person (stereotypically, these are positive "friendship" qualities such as patience, kindness, helpfulness and consolation)." This patience thing is *******, its a virtue okey, but why does it have to rank so high.

To the male, this is perceived as simply increasing his overall appeal on the single ladder; for the female, however, such behaviour increases the man's rank on the "Friendship" ladder while simultaneously decreasing it on the "Partner" ladder, due to the perceived disparity in criteria between the ladders... patience is then on the other ladder,Oh dear Lord :)


"LT suggests that a man who attempts to appeal to a woman through intellectual stimulation or entertainment runs the risk of, rather than becoming or replacing the woman's sexual partner, becoming what Allen satirically depicts as an "intellectual whore" -- someone sought out solely for their intellect, with no interest on the part of the woman in broadening the relationship to other dimensions. LT asserts that there is less stigma attached to a woman maintaining platonic friendships with other men outside her primary sexual relationship than the reverse, due to the perceived separation of relationship values on the "ladders", and that this entails a certain degree of hypocrisy -- women are given latitude to maintain multiple relationships to satisfy all their social needs, while men are expected to find satisfaction for all their social needs in a single relationship only." Very unfair.