Shhh

Keeping quiet is something I never learnt, I have always been outspoken. Always ready to theorize on anything, start a discussion to get alternate stories, trying to make sense of everything, to a point where my thoughts will be rebellious, radically different, cause I often find it difficult to explain it with conventional wisdom.

Beginning to have second thoughts the way I carry on with these, cause like me, people try to make sense of what the other person is saying and they wont see coherence, nor do I explain always, so at the end of the day there could be a misunderstanding.Words spoken have more weight than whats unsaid, cause its out there, etched. And who has the patience for all these, and why should it matter to always have the 'correct' interpretation of his words, unless he/she is terribly important.Sometimes like me they will also just let it go.

So I was thinking, I need not open up with just about everyone, but how difficult that will be. Trying to restrain your instincts with the intent of not creating a wrong picture, while not giving a damn about the picture.I never wanted to project a image, for then I have to live in that image, and I wont have the freedom. So my only concern here is you dont care abt their opinion, but if a wrong opinion can be avoided, isnt it worthwhile. Its kind of contradictory and hence this wrestling with the idea.

The theory which sounds logical is, I needn't speak it out for, sometimes you need to speak it out to let it register in your mind, I can always blog it here , I dont owe an explanation here, and I can always regfine my thoughts here. Sounds simple but it isn't, instincts will rule,I know, but lets see how far intent carries it. And yes I keep talking to myself, "Everything doesnt have to make sense, for there is often no sense in a lot of things, random and may I say ABSURD !"