Kafkaesque

Started reading Kafka, its quite difficult to get hold of his works , In fact its quite difficult to get hold of any offbeat works, I am still searching for Ingmar Bergman's Magic Lantern. Ordered it from Amazon and they spoofed twice , I am yet to follow up on the refund also. A city should have a decent enough book shop, if they cant keep all the books , they should be able to at least procure them. anyways this time while returning from Lucknow picked up Kafka there were three volumes , picked all three.

Metamorphosis is the one that I was looking at , so far its a treat. The story line is totally radical , the main character so far, wakes up one fine morning and finds that he has turned into an insect. Bizzare as it may sound , but it does convey thoughts and ideas about individuality, what you are, whats the image you are carrying. No one really looks at the inner person , its the image that matters.

I initially got this experience when I landed a job. Getting a job as a software engineer is a big deal at my place, in fact at my paternal side I am the first degree engineer. And software was the in thing in those days. Once I landed the job it was like a metamorphosis , the same person overnight acquires a different color , people look at you differently, not the immediate near and dear ones . And then your idealized thoughts take a beating, why ? how can people be so inconsiderate, tomorrow if I loose the job will there be a decrease in their newly acquired affection/respect. Me getting a job was very much a function of the world economy , outsourcing phenomena, than something for which I was totally responsible. No one asked if I really wanted to be in software ?, and when I was struggling after college, cause of teh post 2000 slump, no one really understood. The slump was not of my making why should I be judged based on that.

If I was born some 5-6 years back, before IT happened in India , I would have missed out on getting a decent job, it would have ben that difficult, why would society treat me inferior , which I was sure it would have. But thats life , this is one of the reasons "I dont fucking care about society most of the times" types.
It doesnt/cant value the true individual, it judges you from its own standards , which are oversimplified, ridiculous notions about life.