Its Not about the Bike!

Its never about anything else but you. Wanted to read Armstrong for a long time, had the time to latch on during the visit to Lucknow. He rides a Madone while I haul an 3700, he has been a sort of hero after I read about his cancer , and probably one of the reasons for my renewed interest in cycling. He definitely brought cycling to a world wide audience. After a long time I was able to finish a book over a weekend. Some of the portions were so good it was as if he was echoing what I always wanted to put .

When things dont work, when they go wrong that you start questioning your principles, your beliefs, your very existence. When you start doing that, life is as hell as anything. For me it was a feeling, not rational, just that I felt something, thought it was true , I was wrong , and stupid. It drove me mad, These are the moments when you are on your own, you seek the answers. No one will understand It doesn't come at once, but slowly it makes sense.

I had read a speech by Steve Jobs where he said, "you have to have the faith that somehow the dots will connect, they dont make sense now, but they will connect someday". Now I think I realize the truth in that, this experience changed a lot in me , pushed me in directions that I wouldn't have gone otherwise. In the end its like a rebirth. Sometimes life will be like that, you just got to carry on , it will make sense in the end. You will hopefully come out of it a better person.

Now I am not tormented by it, I dont ask how come I was so stupid, why didnt I be choosy. I am slowly getting rid of any bitterness also and kind of relieved when I am indifferent without even trying.