Through a glass darkly

Bergman at it again, no matter how far I wander, there is something about his movies that stand out. It touches me , I become aware of the many subtle things, as if he has made it for my sensitivity , Its not just listening to dialogues and watching the frames. After a long time , waht a treat





I want to apologise to you.
I've always had a guilty conscience about you, so I've turned away.
It makes me sick to think of all the life
I've sacrificed for my so-called art.
When your mother died, my making it as a writer meant more to me.
I was secretly rejoicing, yet I loved your mother in my own confused way.


When I fell ill you went to Switzerland.

I couldn't bear that you'd inherited
your mother's illness, so I fled.
I had to finish my novel.

Is it any good?

You see, Karin...
One draws a magic circle around oneself -
to keep everything out that doesn't fit one's secret games.
Each time life breaks the circle, the games become puny and ridiculous.
So one draws a new circle and builds new defences.

Poor little dad.
Poor little dad,who has to live in the real world.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dad...
I'm scared, Dad!
I sat in the wreck, holding Karin, when reality cracked.
Do you understand what I mean?

I understand.

Reality... cracked, and I fell out.
It's like in dreams...
Anything can happen.
Anything!

I know.

I can't live in this new world.

Yes, you can. But you have to have something to hold on to.

What would that be - a god?
Give me a proof of God!
You can't.

Yes, I can.
But you have to listen carefully.

Yes... I need to listen.

I can only give you an indication of my own hope.
It's knowing that love exists for real in the human world.

A special kind of love, I suppose?

All kinds, Minus.
The highest and the lowest, the most ridiculous and the most sublime.
All kinds.

The longing for love?

Longing and denial.
Doubt and faith.

So love is the proof?

I don't know whether love is proof of God's existence, or if love is God.

For you, love and God are the same?

I rest my emptiness and dirty hopelessness in that thought.

Tell me more, Dad!

Suddenly the emptiness
turns into abundance - and hopelessness into life.
It's like a reprieve, Minus...from a sentence of death.

Dad... if it is as you say
then Karin is surrounded by God, since we love her.
Could that help her?

I believe so.

Dad?
Would you mind if I go for a run?

Run off. I'll make dinner.
See you in an hour.