Untamed mind

On weekdays , I usually blog after lunch why ? well just to kick start the engine after refueling !. The real reason would be, I would have digested some materials , some events some thoughts by this time and I try to put it in writing lest I forget , and I forget many chain of thoughts pretty quickly, they appear instantly without any deliberations and disappear without any warnings.

Thinking of it I am a pretty much an events guy, I react to certain events , rather I react to many more events that normal. I guess the word to sugar coat this or describe it would be sensitive and intense. I dont know why but I do react, some small thing somewhere will trigger a sustained chain of thought that will just keep on going. I dont try to police it , I let it wander and it is not deliberate at all, they just happen. So most of the times I wont be able to find what i was thinking after some moments.

Usually these are very abstract , what if types, imaginative , they would be triggered by something in this real world but then will acquire a life of their own. Often I have stopped myself and tried to back trace, a conscious effort to trace back the connections, its quite amusing to discover how two totally unrelated things get connected while thinking backwards.

Being sensitive is not really a virtue , you are often troubled by things which others just wont notice , during the course of a life time, I have learnt to block out many unpleasant things , many people consciously.Its difficult but I have found, if I make a conscious effort, I do block them over a period of time. Often it leads me to ask some 'deep' questions. Whats the point ? whats the need ? where all this senseless random world leading us ? is there a purpose ? . I still have no answer , I dont know if its a valid question to begin with ? But they linger on. Strangely it has brought me closer to spirituality . I havent found my answers but it has brought in a lot of peace at times.

On the plus side , I can say I have a really varied interest, I can find something engaging, in just about everything. Often things which I would have ignored, become interesting later. So life becomes quite rich, or thats how I would like to think of it.